I’m a little concerned about the state of Hollywood.  Remember when “movie magic” really did seem to be so?  The world of filmmaking was but a mystery except to a select few in the business.  Being a celebrity was close to royalty.  Back when everyone was still new at it and people were in it for the creativity and invention.  You could walk into a studio and say “I want to work here” and they were happy to have you on board.

Lately it seems like the business is losing its magic and tradition. Changing old standards like the number of best picture nominees is just a small example of what seems to be contributing to a bloated industry.  It’s getting too big for its own good and I’m afraid the industry is coming to a point where it can be largely cast off as a joke.  I’m not talking about cg blockbusters, or multimillion dollar blow-stuff-up movies as the “getting bigger” examples.  That’s fine. I’m talking about the need for more. Releasing more movies a year equals making more money, no matter how stupid or ridiculous the premise. And what better way to make guaranteed money than on a film that you’ve already got the sets for and has made money in the past. The sequel!

We’re coming up on the 7th installment of the “Saw” series, falling into the already laughable genre of “Torture porn.” And I won’t say that in the past there haven’t been… less than impressive film series released (Rocky and Planet of the Apes, to name a few. PS, a Planet of the Apes prequel is in active development), but there was never anything good about the first Saw to try and capitalize on the following movies.  And good God, the next one is in 3D. Apparently 2010 is the perfect time to make another “Scream” movie, 14 years after the first, 10 years after the third.  And in 2010 a 4th Austin Powers is ripe for the picking, 13 years after the first one, 8 years after the third one.   It really just feels like sequels, prequels, squeakquels are in overdrive right now.   I’m still not clear whether “Fast & Furious (2009)” was a redo or a sequel to “The Fast and The Furious (2001).” The tagline of “New Model. Original Parts.” just confuses me further.

There’s such a lack of creativity for the sake of fast cash in the vast majority of releases lately that writers are resorting to movies based on boardgames and sequels to movies that came out 20 and 30 years ago.   Sure, Jumanji did okay, but Monopoly? Candy Land? Battleship?  Are there really good movies there? There’s… a FACEBOOK movie coming out. Come on!

The U.S. is remaking movies other countries have made less than a year after their release.  “Let the Right One In” was practically still in the theaters when they were announcing the American remake.    There’s a constant need to “One up” the previous attempt. Which brings me to why I initially decided to write this thing.

Hollywood has actually gathered up the courage to remake classics.  It started with “The Taking of Pelham 123″ and that was a train wreck. Pun intended. But, brace yourselves… They are actually in development to REDO “The Birds” and “My Fair Lady.”

…

Monangelisa?

It’s hard to gather my thoughts on how disappointing this trend is.  I love the original “Taking of Pelham 123,” and the new one is totally forgettable in my mind and I plan to just ignore it forever.  But honestly, what is the thinking behind it?  Do the producers really think they can make a better “My Fair Lady”?  What do they set out to achieve?  All they can hope for is to literally remake, shot for shot, the same movie but with a newer cast.  But why? What benefit to the industry and the world could that possibly have? You certainly can’t change the movie.  That’s one of the major failings of the new “Pelham 123.” And the actors have no choice but to try and mimic the actors of the famous, classic version. They certainly can’t reinvent the character. It’s not really their place, and then it’s not the same movie anymore.  I can’t imagine an actor likes having to outdo Audrey Hepburn. Why do it?

The excuse seems to be “to update for today’s generation.”  But that’s bullshit.  The classics are classics because they’re timeless. It’s like saying “You know, the Mona Lisa is good and all, but I don’t think her beauty speaks to today’s generation.  So we’re putting the original in storage and displaying this NEW painting with Angelina Jolie sitting in.” Today’s generation still watch and like both “The Birds” and “My Fair Lady.”  I really feel like it’s disrespectful to the original.  We’re talking about all time, best movies. Ever.  Producers are trying to make it fresh and new? Try ACTUALLY making something fresh and new.

Stop ruining movies. Just stop. Seriously.

I write this not because I hate movies, or I want the industry to fail, but because of the exact opposite.  I want it to be still standing and holding its head high when I get there.

The following sequels are currently in pre-production (This list doesn’t count legitimate next installments of a series) c/o imdb:

Pirates of the Caribbean 4, Transformers 3, Saw 7, Scream 4, Rambo 5, Wanted 2, Sherlock Holmes 2, Kung Fu Panda 2, Chronicles of Riddick 2, Lethal Weapon 5, The Strangers 2, BloodRayne 3, Big Mamma’s House 3, Raging Bull 2 (having nothing to do with Scorsese), Ghostbusters 3, Star Trek 2, The Hangover 2, Kill Bill 3, Paranormal Activity 2, Terminator 5, Underworld 4, Sin City 2, Sin City 3, Wolverine 2, xXx 3, Indiana Jones 5, Wild Hogs 2, Men in Black 3, Jumper 2, Zombieland 2, High School Musical 4 (aka, we’re not in high school anymore?), Ghost Rider 2, Anchorman 2, I, Robot 2, Scary Movie 5, Mission: Impossible 4, Dragonball 2, Iron Man 3, Hairspray 2, Silent Hill 2, Monster’s Inc 2, Super Troopers 2, National Treasure 3, Hancock 2, 28 Months Later (aka 28 Days Later 3), Austin Powers 4, Rounders 2, Kung Pow 2, Evil Dead 4, Cars 2, A new PeeWee movie of some sort of sequel status, Jeepers Creepers 3, A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (aka Harold and Kumar [blank] 3), Beverly Hills Cop 4, Get Smart 2, Kung Fu Hustle 2, an I Am Legend prequel, a Bubba Ho-Tep prequel, Unbreakable 2, Madagascar 3, Constantine 2, The Thomas Crown Affair 2, Hostel 3,  The Mummy 4, White Chicks 2, Tremors 5, Bad Boys 3, Bridget Jones 3, Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2, Spy Kids 4, Spawn 2, Nancy Drew 2…  Any of those movies could be good, but DAAAAANG!

The following remakes are in pre-production (though a couple are at optioned property stages and might not make it to the screen) c/o imdb:

Conan (The Barbarian), The Three Stooges, Footloose, My Fair Lady, Yellow Submarine, The Thing, The Crow, Poltergeist, Total Recall,  The Wizard of Oz (as an animation), Spider-Man, Superman, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Dracula, Child’s Play, RoboCop, Dune, Alice (This time fully admitting to be American McGee’s Alice), The NeverEnding Story, Drop Dead Fred, The Host, Pinocchio, of course Tron, Logan’s Run, Fantastic Voyage,  Old Boy, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Flash Gordon (whose production company is ironically called Original Film), Another Dracula, Battle Royale (also being produced by Original Film), Ghost in the Shell, The Blob, The Seven Samurai, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Great Gatsby, Timecrimes, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sunset Boulevard, The Color Purple (as a musical),  Kiki’s Delivery Service, Jesus Christ Superstar, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (again), Dirty Dancing…

We’re going to be delaying our Year-End list until January. I know, it loses a lot of the recap magic coming after New Year’s Day, but there’s a lot more movies to see in January that had limited release during ‘09, and we will be taking the opportunity to catch up on them in order to offer a more comprehensive list, including docs and indies.

However, Christmas bringing the last major releases of the year, here are a few lists to chew on in the meantime:

FIVE MOVIES I DIDN’T LIKE, BUT EVERYONE ELSE DID
(I can admit to being wrong, and will freely admit that these aren’t bad movies. That doesn’t make me like them.)

• Up
• Adventureland
• Zombieland
• Public Enemies
• Duplicity

WORST FIVE MOVIES I SAW IN 2009
(These, however, are bad. I’m pretty good at not buying a ticket for REAL crap, so this category is “movies that had a chance of not being lousy, but were anyway”)

• Knowing
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
• The Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3
• Year One
• I Love You, Man

What do you think? What movies did you hold out hope for, only to have that hope squashed once you saw it? My year end top 10 will come once I’ve seen the indie screenings in January. I can guarantee it will include Star Trek, Red Cliff, and Inglorious Basterds!

I love Craigslist. From a filmmaker’s standpoint it’s a great place to find people, buy and sell gear, and keep yourself in the know about local productions. However, being a free service it’s become overrun with moochers looking for free labor, skilled crew positions and even their gear. This has begun spilling over into the larger industry job boards (such as Mandy.com) and is simply put poisoning the well of jobs for recent graduates and low-level professionals.

Look, I understand that there isn’t a lot of money in indie shorts these days. I also understand that you, the creator, don’t have a budget to properly shoot your vision, much less adequately compensate your crew.

The point is this: once you approach someone hat-in-hand looking for help, you lose ownership of the project. I’m not talking about ‘points’ or ‘deferred payment’ – because everyone knows that money doesn’t exist. I mean creative ownership. As Marion Ravenwood said, ‘you’re getting more than you bargained for. I’m your goddamn partner!’

... but the whole film was my idea!

So you’re looking for free labor, but what you should be looking for are collaborators. You’re a director with a script and you’ve done most of the legwork, planning out the shoot, arranging your friends so they each get the role you wrote for them, but that is unfortunately 0% of the work. Not saying it isn’t the most important part of making a good movie, but planning is not labor. It’s not gear, and it doesn’t cost money. No, what you need is an angel to descend from Heaven riding a white steadicam and wielding a fiery RED One. Here is how you get one:

1. Explain what the film is about. Sell the project.

Be upfront and excited about your movie. Tell us what it’s about, the genre, logline, even a paragraph or two to build up the story. You could even leave us hanging on the end. Maybe we’re that much more likely to contact you, and just reading the rest of the script becomes an interesting proposition. If your movie is worth making, we’d be happy to help out, but you have to sell us on it upfront. Go far enough to explain why this is an exciting opportunity for each specific crew position, and what your influences are. What will you be doing that will let a crew member experiment, be challenged, and shine?

2. Explain what your budget is, and where it is being spent.

Filmmaking costs money. It just does. If you’re not willing to pay for the thousands of dollars of gear you’re requiring crew to donate, what ARE you paying for? Does it make sense for the director to contribute 6 subs (cut in half) for the cast/crew each day for 4 days while the ‘Camera Assistant’ brings his $300/day HDcam, or the ‘Editing Assistant’ spends a week tying up her time on her own $5000 computer?

People who make material contributions to your film should be compensated for it. It’s that simple. Everyone buys their lunch, but throw the DP some money toward a new lens, and it’s a guarantee the money will end up on the screen. Pay-what-you-can models have been working for awhile now, and even if it’s very little, like $40/day, it’s still something and shows you understand the value of the gear and the skill to use it.

3. Explain what you’re going to do with the film after it’s made.

Everyone is going to work their tail off, and for what? “Festival run” doesn’t mean a lot if you’ve never had a festival run before. You definitely need a game plan, a marketing plan including a budget for submitting, prepping the press kit and a strategy for submitting. Start with smaller festivals and work up to the big ones? Who is in charge of making sure the submission package is in order? Who will make sure the film is on imdb? These are balls that too often get dropped, resulting in a finished film lost to history, or worse, one that’s never completed in the first place.

4. Show your track record and put a reel in the post.

If you’ve done this work before, have examples of your other films or a director’s reel handy. Link it in the crew call you put up on Craigslist. Make certain that people know you’re for real, and that you’ve actually completed projects in the past. If you haven’t directed before, surely you know someone with a short under their belt who will help out on the crew. Latch onto them, as “with the DP of X” looks better than nothing.

If you’ve got no filmmaking experience, and don’t know anyone who does, I would suggest that you take a long look at your blind jump into production, but definitely be upfront about it in the post. Say “I am inexperienced, but am looking forward to working with someone who can interpret and gently guide me to make this film a success” – people like to be the experts, so maybe you’ll get lucky and find a great partner. Just don’t expect anyone to deal with much of an attitude on the set.

"Assistant Camera Operator needed. Must have own Canon 5D Mark ii and lenses. Unpaid."

5. Make sure the person providing the gear is given total responsibility over the gear provided.

This means I could just as easily drop it off and go home. In fact, I’m sure the ad writer would prefer that, unless you want me there specifically to show you how to use it. Is it my camera? Then I am nobody’s assistant, and am a full-on Camera Operator or even Director of Photography. Otherwise, nobody else touches the gear, since it likely cost more than your shoot.

"...will make great industry contacts."

6. Don’t bother offering ‘contacts’ – Friends do favors, everyone else gets taken advantage of

No. Industry players would pay people involved in their productions. I would be meeting more starving artist types (admittedly, like myself) and just become a number to call when they need hundreds or even thousands of dollars worth of labor, free. There are plenty of organizations out there to meet great industry types; while on the set I’ll be working. If I hand a business card to the gaffer during a shot, you can fire me.

7. Have a clear, set-in-stone schedule

Tell me exactly when you’re shooting. Even if you took time off from work for the shoot, the odds are very good that your free crew did not. How many weekends will you be shooting? How long is the day? Don’t keep free labor any longer than necessary. Ever. In fact, try to get out early every day, bring out a case of beer and hang around, making a point to thank each and every person, mentioning something they did during the day that ‘made the shoot’

8. Don’t try to invent ‘payment’ in the form of credits or a copy of the film, or certainly ‘reel material’

Credits, copies, and reel clips do not represent a ‘reward’ and should not be sold as one. Instead they reflect the work put in by the entire crew and are everyone’s property, not yours to dole out on the barrel-head at the end of the shoot. Be upfront about what someone is getting in return. If it’s nothing, being clear on these other 9 points will help you convince them that working with you (not for you) is worth their time and gear.

"... but I really just direct. I wouldn't have anything else to offer in exchange. I could mow your lawn?"

9. Offer Barter!

Okay, so a guy is about to cancel two weekends to pack up his mics and come boom your short film with no expectation of compensation. What can you do for him? If you have the scheduling down, you’ll know when you will be free. Offer to help him with a project, either crew, production (since you’ll have experience putting a team together!) or in any other capacity.

Return the favor of free labor. Don’t make him ask, either. Offer it up willingly, even going so far as to encourage him to make his own short.

10. Don’t expect menial labor.

Offer everyone working that’s for free a position at least one, possibly two steps above what they would do for money. This means that Assistant Editors become Editors, that Camera Assistants become Operators and DPs, and PAs get to Grip or help run the lights/sound.
If you ask for someone whose job will be to get you coffee, or to hand water to the cast, they’d better either be related to you, or owe you a favor from something else. In fact, I would suggest that a great way to build camaraderie on the set is for you, the director, to start each shooting day by getting the coffee for your crew. We always keep a box available on shoots, and gopher is not in anyone’s job description.

Are you a business? Then none of this applies to you.

Either you don’t need the crew, or they are adding value to the project and should be paid accordingly. Doesn’t matter if it’s spec, or a podcast, or whatever. If you aim to receive money for the work, or ’someday turn it into more’ then you are making an investment and nobody working with you should be forced to assume your risk.

Are you crew? Looking for work?

Don’t sell yourself short for a project you don’t believe in. Remember that what you don’t get in money, you need to get in happiness and a positive shoot experience! Roughly speaking, this is what you are worth to the production each day:

PA                 $100-$150
Grip               $125-$175
*Script Supervisor $200-$250
Gaffer             $200-$250
Hair/Make-Up       $150-$200 (plus kit)
Camera Assistant   $150-$200
Camera Operator    $200-$250
Sound Technician   $175-$250
DP                 $300-$400
*Assistant Editor  $200-$250
Editor             $400-$500

*Try to make a point to pay this person SOMETHING, as their brains will melt from the amount of concentration and effort they put into doing this job well.

Providing gear? Divide the cost of your gear by about 20 to determine what it is worth as a rental. That’s sometimes a low estimate, and you’re better off looking up local rental houses to see real prices of your exact equipment (then knock about 25% off for their ’special rates’)

Consider what you’re worth when you’re asked to work for free, and you’ll be much more well-armed toward working good, professional projects that further your career.

We decided that while the Monthly Primer was fun to do, it was kind of covered already by the rest of the internet movie preview world.

So, instead of doing a preview for each movie each month, I decided to just do a mini preview/recommendation/blurb of excitement about my own 5 movies I most look forward to, based entirely on personal, biased reasons.

Enjoy!

Ponyo (august 14th, my birthday!!)

Studio Ghibli deserves to be famous like Walt Disney Studios, and Hayao Miyazaki like Walt. (Waaaaaaaaaaaaaalt…! Right?) The studio has had a hand in at least 5 of my all time favorite animations: Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro, Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro,  Princess Mononoke, and Porco Rosso.  Aside from really liking the art style, I’m consistently amazed at how well they animated people, ESPECIALLY children.  Even the films they’ve produced I didn’t mention are good stories, well animated and pretty all around enjoyable to watch.

I saw the original Japanese version of Ponyo (which is Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea in full) not too long ago, and from what I’ve seen, by comparison the U.S. release looks like it has pretty good voice acting.  They hired genuine little kids to do the voices, albeit a Cyrus and a Jonas. While I thought the film was really bizarre and am unsure of how the U.S. audience would react (I worked in a theater when Spirited Away, and parents were ticked that we didn’t warn them it wasn’t actually a kid’s movie), I think everyone should see it because Hayao Miyazaki is awesome.  Also he looks like Colonel Sanders now.

Hayao Miyazaki from Comic Con

Colonel Sanders

Surrogates (September 25th)

I feel like it’s time again for movies about MMORPG type video games. In 2002 there was an anime called .hack//SIGN which was a show about video game avatars in the game world with the personas of the real people playing them. (Kind of like a machinima with a bunch of your friends doing the voices of the characters.) Basically if the people from The Guild voiced the characters of an animation based on the video game characters they play.  (None of these further explanations make any sense, do they?)

Although Surrogates doesn’t seem to be about a game world, thus extracting the nerdy connotations of living a second life in some made up fantasy world as a Golden Knight or something, it’s the same basic concept.  And like .hack//SIGN, it deals with “What happens to the real person behind the avatar if … were to happen?”, which I think is pretty interesting.

New York, I Love You (October 16th)

Our very own Paris, Je T’Aime. A feature film made up of lots of indie film style shorts, directed by people who can put a lot of effort in because they only had to make a 10 minute movie instead of an 80 minute movie. And I admit, I REALLY like seeing places I go to every day in movies now. I never thought it would be true, but there’s a connection for movies shot in New York to people that live here. I even feel differently about movies I had seen in the past that were shot here. Manhattan. Cloverfield. Way cool when you know exactly where they were going. When I saw Cloverfield in Wisconsin, all the street names and locations were just a blur of dialogue until I moved here. Plus I still like the city. A lot of my friends that moved here before me are just like “Meh, New York. You get over it.”

Nine (December 11th) My God, it’s so far away!

Nine Trailer from Daniel Shannon on Vimeo.

I’m not a Fellini die-hard. In fact, the part of 8 1/2 that all the trailers of Nine are based off of (where all the women are dancing around him until the end of the movie, largely) was kind of too weird, off the wall bizarre for me for an otherwise pretty normal, good movie. I may have gone to an experimental film school, but I didn’t buy in entirely.
But this movie has such great casting it makes me want to see it just for that.  It’s a lightbulb moment when you realize who each of the women in Nine are supposed to be as compared to the original and how they all look so perfect. Plus Daniel Day-Lewis as Marcello/Guido is friggin’ brilliant. Now if they just got Uma Thurman to play Gloria (Mezzabotta’s crazy fiance), I would feel like a chapter (or more like a footnote) in my life would be quietly resolved.

Ramona and Beezus (March 2010)

They are filming this now.  The Ramona Quimby books were one of my favorite book series as a kid and I’m really excited about there being a new film.  I am, however, totally open to it likely being horrendous.  I didn’t see the Nancy Drew movie, but it looked awful.  The Harriet the Spy movie however, was really good.  Or I was just the right age when it came out to like it.

It’s not a Disney movie (Thank God), but I have a feeling it might as well be. It co-stars one of the current popular Disney creations to arise from nowhere and blow up over night, which instantly gives it a candy-coated “everything is perfect in the world” shiney feeling it could do without.

The girl who plays Ramona looks promising, so I’m hoping it’s another Harriet the Spy or Harry Potter success rather than Ramona and Beezus: High School Musical 4.

This looks awesome!

actionLog Pro.

Occasionally I’m a Script Supervisor on productions. It’s a really good fit for me because they’re basically the intermediary between the Director and the Editor.  It’s like spying on the set and taking detailed copious notes for myself later!  Script Supervisors keep track of everything and everyone throughout the day of shooting: Keeping a log of the shots with timecode, f-stop, lenses, focus length, motion of cameras, for ALL cameras, action of actors including continuity of their physical movements as well as their lines and how they emphasize them and the list goes on. At the end of the day, all the notes from the Script Supervisor as well as their marked up script of changes go to the editor for reference in the cut.

ActionLog Pro is an application that does A BUNCH of that for you! It’s a huge pain in the ass to get the correct timecode written down when at the start of the shot there’s a million other things to be looking for as well.  It would be GREAT if something did that automatically.  Plus, phone apps usually get programs down to their most efficient and speedy form, considering the limitations of the medium: battery life, small scale, usability for touchpad and so forth.  According to its description, “At the touch of a button the logging system keeps track of all reel names and timecodes for each recorded piece of action.”

Features
★ Unlimited number of projects
★ Up to 25 virtual recording devices
★ Synchronize devices that use time of day or free running timecode
★ Quick to use logging system
★ Incremental slate and take fields
★ Easy construction of clip names from predefined lists
★ Logging continues without the application running
★ View and delete logged clips
★ Built in SMTP email client
★ Export to Avid ALE files, Final Cut Pro XML and to a printable log sheet

I’m not so sure about the annotating part of it. I can at least still hand write much faster than I can text-type. I suppose you could shorthand, but  I wouldn’t want to get notes that said “K8 X’s L 2 R 2 Jack and sez “U want 2 go bck 2 island? WTF!?”

Anyway, I hope it comes out for the Blackberry Storm because paying $30 to occasionally swipe David’s iPhone to try it out won’t cut it! Or, I guess hopefully the iPhone gets released to other cellphone companies one day. Either way, this looks good enough pay for, an app first for me!

Reviews and commentary are out about the new FCP release and from reading what they have to say, I’m not thrilled. Actually, I couldn’t care less. How do people keep the faith in this program when all Apple ever does (When they ever do anything for Final Cut) is release things that are “Just like [blank program] does it!”? Sure, it has some new additions now and then, but with so many seemingly obvious features missing that are covered by other programs, usually the largely more used Avid, why would you even keep buying and using Final Cut? Especially since they weren’t even at NAB. They’ve shown they don’t really give a crap about video editing.
Maybe if they renamed it iVideoEditingProgram, it would have more attention by the developers. Rename plugins to “apps” and suddenly people will care!

Reality isn’t real.

Taking out the component of Brüno himself and the fact that he’s not actually gay, not actually a fashion reporter, and not actually Austrian.  The rest of the movie is basically a documentary with real people, right?  It’s very strange how the filmmakers expect certain story points to be taken as fictitious, and certain to be taken as cross your heart and hope to die truth without really stating which is which. It’s like Zoolander meets a Michael Moore film, she said with mild sarcasm…

America, **** YEAH!

Having worked in a lot of reality tv on both the production side and the post side, I can tell you it’s almost all a setup.  Producers poke and prod, suggest, and even subtly put words in people’s mouths until they get what they want.  The filmmakers have complete control over the situation.    Reality movies/tv have just as many takes and retakes and “Let’s try that once more, but angrier” as fictional movies.  That martial arts instructor in Brüno may have said “Homosexuals would probably come at you from behind” out of his own will, but I bet a producer set him up to answer that way. Cut the question asked a half hour ago with that answer you finally got, and blamo! Pure gold.  There’s an infinite amount of manipulation of sound bites and footage in post-production.  That’s what editing IS.  It’s because in the end, both fictional and reality Directors are just trying to make a product that will make them money and turn out well.   I’m not going to sit here and knock reality movies or tv, but I will say take the “reality” with a grain of salt.

But, maybe I’m just making all this up?  No one has really talked about this before. I didn’t work on Brüno, know anyone who did, or have some special insider information.  No one can talk about it because everyone involved has to sign a confidentiality agreement.  We had to use code-names for the first 3 weeks of Dancing With the Stars before anyone was officially announced to be on the show.  After all it’s no fun to have someone revealing the plot before the movie comes out.

Sacha Baron Cohen

But I’m not showing you what’s behind the curtain by any means.  None of this is new information.  We’ve all talked about how the guests on Jerry Springer are actors and how the cast of Survivor probably has a buffet at lunch because when they’re not shown eating rats and boars, they have to eat something.  So why am I writing this? Well because I wanna! And I’m tired of this and Borat being hailed as brilliant. Yeah sure, an obnoxious gay stereotype showed his dick in public in Alabama and the reaction was outrage.  I can’t believe it! Dang, stop giving this guy so much cred.

Mostly, I’d like to talk about it because Brüno’s sole purpose is to get a rise out of people and I find Art for Outrage to be ridiculous.  It’s just “how much can we get away with?” So. What purpose does that serve? The movie is not exactly pro gay rights either.  When has extreme stereotyping ever made anyone more tolerant? I can guarantee the three completely stoned fratties that sat across from me are going away from this movie with new material, not a new found respect.  If they didn’t know what gay people were like before, they sure think they know now.

Saying I don’t like the movie would be fuel for the fire and just what they want me to say and I’m not being paid by Sacha Baron Cohen for this publicity!  Just do like you would during a scary movie:  keep telling yourself “It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real” and then you won’t have any nightmares.

As mentioned before, David and I had moved to New York almost one month to the day BEFORE they started shooting this. We were disappointed we were not going to get a chance to work on the film while we were still in town. (Johnny Depp even stayed in a hotel in my tiny and random home town.) Having seen the film now, I dare say I’m almost glad my name is not attached.

What happened here? I haven’t seen a film on the big screen look so flat and clearly video since… I want to say 28 Days Later (shot on a Canon XL-1), but even that did not look as flat and grainy as Public Enemies.

28 Days Later. Video-y, yes. Flat, not so much.

It was almost rough enough I thought I was at a sneak months before the release date. So poorly lit and sound recorded I thought I was watching a low budget Indie. Unfortunately, this film will be held as an example of what can be produced out of Wisconsin, since it is the first major release to come from the new tax incentives. I thought the same, and was frankly disappointed. I know there are a lot of pros in Wisconsin that can make a good feature. But, then I took a look at the credits on imdb and every person I clicked on was not hired out of Wisconsin! The Cinematographer and a handfull of Sound Guys worked on L.A. Confidential. The Steadi-cam Op is from Le Vie en Rose. Grips from Road to Perdition, Lighting Techs from CSI, House, 24… These are some seasoned pros. So why is it so technically poor? They had a 35mm adapter with film lenses, but it seems they only chose to use it for about a dozen shots out of the whole film. No-body and no-thing was lit correctly (I think they honestly used natural light in nearly every shot), and the audio mix was non-existent, as well as the pure recording of audio was apparently so bad that they had to amp dialogue here and there just so lines could be heard, which inevitability amps the background noise so you get this sudden burst of sounds like you’ve just popped your ears after takeoff. All of which is totally in contrast to great acting, dynamite cast, great costuming and set design, locations, props, music. I have no specific complaints about the directing, although you have to wonder why Michael Mann didn’t say “Why is it so dark, dialogue so quiet, and shot so needlessly shaky? What is this, Cops?”

In addition to the pure and undeniably low quality footage they were producing, the camera work really stood out. The first shot of the film is wobbly and bumpy like the camera guy was fumbling to hold onto the camera. Immediately I thought, “Well that was weird.” But the rest of the movie carried on with the same kind of bumps and shakes. There’s a scene at a hearing with the FBI where the cameraman appears as though he’s trying to sneak into the room without the actors knowing, but instead trips over his shoelace and has to make a quick recovery. Nothing in this movie is shot POV, nor is there any room for Bourne Identity “Shaky Cam.” ESPECIALLY when you’re shooting in a video camera with a picture that’s so flat and grainy. It makes it look all the more like a reality show. Why not use a tripod? In the shootout at the cabin toward the end of the movie, the cameraman just seemed flustered to get a shot and ended up shooting a lot of nothing. There was a lot of whipping around to action that had already ended.

The Sony F23 LOOKS like a pro camera.

Given the questionable camerawork, I started to wonder whether all the poorly lit shots in the movie weren’t just the fault of the cameraman not opening the iris far enough. But no, even in the outdoor sunlit shots nobody bothered to bounce light onto the actor’s faces. And everyone is wearing big hats that put a shadow on their faces, requiring extra attention all the more. You’ve got to light faces, otherwise the audience’s eye wanders to the next brighest thing, no matter what it is. It’s hard to keep someone’s attention when you can’t see them. Even an edge of light around a silhouette to pop them from the background is necessary at the very least. The lighting in Public Enemies looked as though no one bothered to check the monitor and assumed the camera was picking up the light people were seeing with their eyes. There’s a scene with Christian Bale in their office at the police station with very moody lighting, cigarette smoke and the whole shebang. Definitely a film noir feel, and a decent place to go dramatic. The only problem was that the few beams of light that are illuminating the scene were not lighting anything. Anything the filmmakers would have wanted to draw the audience’s eye to was too dark to make out. I can’t help but wonder, if Christian Bale blows up over someone breaking his concentration on set, imagine what he thought when he saw that in half his scenes, nobody can see his brilliant performance.

Shadows can ruin a moment.

It's just a bit too muddy. It could have really popped.

Boy, I don’t know. This film is just mind boggling. In some ways it gives hope to the Indies out there that want a major release but didn’t think their film was up to the standards of Dreamworks and Paramount. But it also really makes me wonder how something like this got to print. Weren’t they watching dailies and noticing these issues? No high def makeup person? Maybe they were looking for grit, but at least do it for the women. Yeesh! None of the actors they paid good money to be in the film are properly lit? There’s only so much you can, want to, and should have to “Fix in post”. And their sound was certified amateurish. You get a couple mistakes per film: a jump cut for no other solution, bad ADR for a line, but the issues in Public Enemies were from start to finish and I can’t believe no one put a stop to it.

Right down to the editing there are problems. Shots linger on WAY too long after they should. And it’s not even a case of letting it linger for emotion. I’m talking about shots of the sides of empty doorways, blurry over the shoulder shots where the subject of the angle is still standing and we’re looking at their pants. It was obvious that the Editor was trying to cut around mistakes made in production with some of the cutaways to nothing in particular to hide another cut, or using a shot where the faces went dark and then cutting to another angle which was less than ideally composed, so he cuts back to the original dark shot. But there are a lot of really rough and long shots that could just use a trim.

Something tells me there was a lot of compromising and scraping for something usable for this movie. But I just have to wonder what happened.
An article came out today from Studio Daily on the “Tech of Public Enemies” where they talk about the camera. In the article, Michael Mann says he originally wanted to shoot it on film. For God’s sake, follow your gut next time! This movie should have been great. It should have been a contender! Instead, I’ll probably be forgetting all about it in a few weeks. What the hell, Hollywood?

What comes out when, and do you care?

Alright, I didn’t do one of these for June. Upgrading the website plus a really uninteresting collection of films, and I never could get the energy up for writing a primer.

It would have roughly said this: What’s with the art films? Moon, Whatever Works, Food Inc, Away We Go. Pelham is going to infuriate me (it did) and The Hangover might be worth it (it was) and the rest can go DTV for all I care. As much as I loved The Transformers 20 years ago, the first movie was lame and the robots looked like they were assembled pre-crushed from the junkyard (Ebert said it better “a junkyard threw up”)

May was apparently the only month for movies this Summer. After Harry Potter rolls out on the 17th, all that’s left is the Fall schedule where studios unload their dreck in preparation for Christmas. Also, doesn’t it seem like a lot of Christmas-type movies came out this Summer? Angels and Demons, Whatever Works, Harry Potter, Public Enemies, even Imagine That… Something is afoot in marketing and distribution!

Interestingly, check this out. This month may suck, but:
REMAKE/SEQUEL METER: 2/10 a new best!

JULY 3rd
Public Enemies
Disclaimer: I am a little bitter towards this movie. My lovely film-professional girlfriend and I lived in Wisconsin until last Spring, at which point we moved to New York for more work. Public Enemies shows up and immediately hires like everyone in the state of WI on the production, giving them all a great credit while we compete against a million other people for the ten jobs here in Gotham. As an addition to the story, I originally come from a small town in central Illinois (Decatur) where, having left to go to WI, both Soderburgh’s The Informant and Spielberg’s Lincoln biopic set their production.

Sour grapes aside I like and trust Michael Mann (though I feel he can be a sloppy writer) and would be looking forward to this much more if it weren’t for the fact that the entire marketing campaign seems to be showing you tommy guns as much as possible. “Do you like tommy guns? Come see Public Enemies, starring Johnny Depp! (and Christian Bale) More tommy guns than any other Summer release!”

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
In a world of with Pixar, the Shrek franchise, Madagascar, it’s always seemed like Ice Age was the inferior market exploitation product. For this reason, I really can’t believe there have only been three Ice Age movies. I feel like Ice Age has always been there, the generic and low-rent alternative to CG with style and writers. This one? More of the same. Enjoy! Also, even if we grant him the cartoon ability to fall off cliffs, get crushed by boulders and blow himself up with ACME rockets, Scrat should have starved to death long-ago.

JULY 10th
Bruno
I like the mix of scripted segments and documentary scenes, and even the in-character events too. Cohen’s characters are always more art projects than simply movies, but let’s face the facts: You already know whether you’re going to like it. I’m surprised by how many fratties still say ‘Niiiice’ three years later. Man, has it already been three years?

I Love You, Beth Cooper
Chris Columbus? Well, that’s weird. At least he’s mixing it up, having followed up his two child-friendly Harry Potter films with Rent (did anyone actually see Rent?). This seems very much like a director-for-hire gig. Anyway, not much to be said about horny teens having an adventure. Count the number of times in the trailer the ROTC guy would be hauled off to jail for at least the night! Apparently I Love You, Beth Cooper takes place in an anarchist state, where geeky dudes use their lovably awkward wits to deal with assault and massive damage to personal property.

July 17th
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Yay! Finally another Big Movie! Harry Potter’s move to Summer (from last Christmas) looks brilliant up against this ridiculously poor schedule. Potter will easily dominate box office returns for at least four weeks, maybe six. The movie should herald a darker Potter (the books certainly go in that direction) and this series really should be PG13 by now, so it’s odd that we’re still looking at PG. The fans of Sorcerer’s Stone are eight full years older.

July 24th
G-Force
We have a pet guinea pig; he just wants to eat cucumbers and bite us. Think Will Arnett, Sam Rockwell and Zach Galifinakis can add sly adult comedy elements to anthropomorphic rodents? It would be nice, but this is likely a more-by-the-numbers-than-math-itself kids’ feature. Thing not to look forward to: Advances in computing power and CG software will someday reduce the budget of pictures like these to almost nothing, meaning thousands of them every year! Having watched the trailer, despite his 30-Rock greatness, Tracy Morgan stands out as being an absolutely terrible voice actor.

The Ugly Truth
At least it will lend itself to plenty of great puns about its name! The ugly truth is this: No reviewer or movie writer ever wants to really sit down with the stars of a formula will-they-won’t-they-obviously-they-will romantic comedy and talk about how they’re doing something different. I could copy/paste lorum ipsum here and you won’t care. You’ve already skipped ahead, maybe pausing for a moment because you didn’t know Gerard Butler was in it, or hadn’t heard of it altogether. Given the cute factor, I bet G-Force will even make a better date movie!

Orphan
And with this, July 24th goes down as the most embarassing three-film release day of 2009. Directors really should look more to the 1970s when they’re releasing Bad Seed knockoffs. I think ‘fog horror’ could really make a comeback, but instead psychological horror films just cribs the notes of the last ten years of startling scares. Remember Hollywood: startled doesn’t mean scared! “Who’s going to jump out at me from behind the closet door? OHMYGOD it’s a creepy little girl!”

July 31st
Funny People
Judd Apatow risks his regular audience with his ‘but seriously, folks’ moment. The more mature elements in his stuff has always gone over really well. This cast is huge and very talented (even RZA is in it!) and the movie’s trailer looks effective, successful, funny, sad, crafted! The caveat? Stand up comedy movies don’t do jack at the box office. “The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis” might be the best line from a trailer this year.

Aliens in the Attic
Concluding July is… yet another kids’ movie! July = no school. Kids will see any old crap! Ha ha grandma is a street fighter? Ha ha the older brother is hitting himself? Crimony. Look, this site isn’t for hating everything. I want to conclude this month by saying that I wouldn’t be writing these if I didn’t like movies a lot. Seriously, each terrible blurb that goes by and month that slides into the dead season makes me more desperate to see something good. What’s the next major release I’m really looking forward to? Probably District 9. In the meantime, go find The Hurt Locker or some (any) other independent film not on this list. They need you!

Since Danny Jelinek has posted high-quality versions of his show for Channel101:LA on Youtube, I am pleased to be able to post it here. It’s one of the better creations for the format in some time. It’s fun to watch, awesomely trippy, and has a great soundtrack. If you like them, make sure to support Danny by rating, subscribing, and letting him know!